Times of peace
For years I have not understood this quote from Detoxify “…your heart does not always want what is good for it. It wants what is familiar, what once felt like home, even if that home was burning. I thought that this was just plain silly. Who would choose the hurt and pain and all the awful friends that those two bring along? Until something happened this week… Life was coasting along kind of smoothly, but then suddenly it didn’t (the house saga went to a next level) and I went into survival mode. Too easily, I might add. I slipped into survival mode like a race car driver finally on the open road. I felt, in a way, that now I know what to do, now I know how to be. Yes, how to BE. Then it struck me. I don’t know how to be when all is going well, because I am just waiting for the inevitable to strike. I don’t know me in Happy and Safe mode. I really struggle with being happy. This isn’t my easy space. Fighting for survival is. I know exactly who I am then, how much I can tak...
