A time for change

I wonder what goes on in the mind of a caterpillar inside the cocoon? (Do we still use cocoon or is there a more clever word?) Anyway, back to the mind of the caterpillar…what is going through that little brain? Are there dreams? Sighs? Silent screaming? Honestly I have never bent down with ear close to cocoon to hear if there are any sounds coming from that little wound up body. And how precisely does it go from a caterpillar shape to a butterfly? How is that even possible?

Obviously I have too many questions and no answers…..yet.

And just to add more confusion, the caterpillar wound herself up. So tightly, in fact, that there is absolutely no wiggle room. None whatsoever. But then there is a twitch and slowly the new emerges. 

And why is this first post about caterpillars and butterflies, one might ask? I guess I have been in my self imposed cocoon now for 3 plus years and I am starting to feel that strange twitch of change waking me up from a deep (and safe) state. Change is a coming. And I am terrified. Also excited, but mostly terrified. 

How will it be outside of my tightly wound small space? In a strange way I have been both out in the wide world but also stuck inside my satin blanket and happily quite anonymous for the most part - no one’s wife, widow, ex wife, or whatever title I had in your eyes. I was just a nobody in my own little cocoon but now, as I shed my safety blanket, I might once again be this that and the other. However I am not the same as the broken little worm of 3 years ago. In fact I exchanged most of my feet for wings! Albeit untested wings as of yet. I hope I will be brave enough to spread them and fly. To not go back to picking up the shame of other’s burdens, but flick those wings and soar. Free and transformed.  Version 16.01 That is what I am praying for.

Coming back to the caterpillar and what goes on inside the cocoon, I think I know now - she was listening to the Creator’s voice. Softly speaking life into her again. She was listening to His Words of Love. 

xxB